Chaos at Canterbury 4 (12/14/13) MMA Results
As of late, I've been in the midst of a downward spiral of self-destruction. I drank too much, made inappropriate jokes and comments, took no time to consider the struggles others endured and about a dozen other things that are exactly the same as how I am when I'm not having a crappy day.
So, I guess that nothing actually changed.
Damn, self-realization can be a bitch.
I suppose that now is about the time that I should ramble about something or another, but I'm a little boozed up. Yup, day drunk. So I'll just sit back and watch these 16 fights and wait for snark and inspiration to strike all on their own.
Or after I drink some more.
Or after I see Dani. Who should have won the mother f***ing X-girl contest.
I mean, duuuuuuude.
Picture doesn't even do the boy shorts she has on justice.
Marc Gomez (0-0) vs. Michael Jokondo (0-0)
Round 1) The two are trading slapping legs kick early…for a while…Jokondo goes for a jumping switch kick and starts to find a little more aggression in his strikes. Gomez sticks a couple solid punches and Jokondo gets the double to get out of trouble. Jokondo lands in top half guard and stays there as the round ends.
Round 2) Both fighters have switched to punches but nothing solid lands. Jokondo starts to find accuracy in his strikes, but Gomez catches a kick and gets Jokondo to the ground. Jokondo gets closed guard and goes for a sloppy armbar, refusing to let it go despite a few hammer fists to the face. The round ends.
Round 3) You know, for what could potentially be a 1-1 fight, neither fighter seems to have any urgency. I stopped paying attention. Decision.
Result: Michael Jokondo via unanimous decision (30-27 on all cards)
Wait, is Shover entering to “Little Drummer Boy” or am I drunk?
Brian Shover (0-0) vs. Michael Walsh (0-0)
Round 1) Shover seems distracted by the audience pre-fight, but comes out swinging. Walsh returns the favor and clichés up, spinning Shover to the ground and ending up in guard. Walsh stands and tries to pass. Shover sits up, but gives his back and Walsh is all over it working an RNC, then to mount, then to back, then somewhere in between, strikes the whole way through. The ref has seen enough. A dominant debut for the Combat Ju Jitsu fighter.
Result: Michael Walsh via TKO at 1:21 of the 1st round.
Erik Newman (2-0) vs, Jason Huntley (3-2)
Round 1) Newman feels out a couple kicks then gets the single leg. Huntley scrambles to get half guard, almost getting a sweep to mount, but establishing full guard. Huntley stands, but Newman gets it back to the ground. Huntley fights to stand again and the round ends with Newman trying for another takedown.
Round 2) Newman with another takedown as Huntley is looking to size up the knockout punch. Newman passes to side control, but Huntley gets back to guard. Huntley starts working for a kimura, but Newman passes to half guard as the round ends.
Round 3) Newman may be wearing some tiny muay thai shorts, but he is rocking the wrestling with another takedown. Huntley struggles to stand and Newman is able to get back with hooks. He rides that to mount, but Huntley is able to escape and get top side, hopping to the side going for a locked-in arm-triangle. It looks tight, but Newman’s corner is counting down the seconds left in the round. It’s going to a decision.
Result: I can’t really believe this one…it’s a draw. 29-28, 28-29, 29-29. One judge giving round 1 a score of 10-10. While Newman got the takedowns, he wasn’t “going for anything.” Go figure. I’m as surprised as you are.
Marc Renville (3-4) vs. Calvin Grube (3-1)
Round 1) Renville comes out with a muay thai stance and Grube counters with an uppercut. Renville shoots and Grube stuffs, tying up and falling for a cutting armbar. Renville escapes, but stays head down, working Grube’s ribs. Grube keeps threatening a kimura and stuffs for a solid triangle as the round ends.
Dani is bouncy tonight. Yeah me!
Round 2) Renville is the aggressor, but they tie up and Grube jumps guillotine. Renville escapes, but seems disinclined to posture up. Grube moves back and forth between threatening kimura, guillotine and triangle. Renville passes to half guard, but Grube rolls him over. Renville sets up his own triangle as the round ends.
Round 3) Renville is looking strong with his combinations and Grube has no response. Finally Grube retreats, rebounding off the cage and getting the double leg. Renville works quickly locking up a fast triangle and hooking Grube’s leg. The tap comes quickly.
Result: Marc Renville via submission due to triangle at 2:24 of the 3rd round.
Stephanie. That is all.
Darrien Mackiel (1-2) vs. Dustin Murphy (2-1)
Round 1) Murphy comes out aggressively with kick combinations, but Mackiel responds with a stiff jabs that seems to stumble Murphy. Mid scramble/stumble, Murphy is able to put leather to Mackiel’s chin and Mackiel sprawls to the canvas. Murphy follows with another punch, but the ref is already waving it off.
Result: Dustin Murphy via KO at :20 of the 1st round
The other day I was listening to Alone by Heart and I could help but wonder if it was the single greatest music video of all time. It has an exploding piano, a backlit trio of guitarists (none of whom are discernible as male or female), a f***ing horse for some reason, and some amazing vocals. If they make better, someone better let Kanye know.
Tony Francis (3-6) vs. Charles Anozie (1-0)
Round 1) Anozie fakes the superman punch and ties up, eventually, getting the trip to side control. Francis works to his feet, eating a couple of uppercuts. Anozie stays tied up and drags it back to the ground. Francis holds the bottom cross headlock and almost gets Von Flue choked. Francis is able to stand but Anozie bullies forward, locking up the Marcelotine and finishing it from mount.
Result: Charlie Anozie via submission due to guillotine choke at 2:00 of the 1st round
Wayward MMA fans may be the only more delusional fans than football fans. I have been listening to a couple guys behind me all night (seated behind one of the corners no less) yell about who should do what, or what they are doing. They haven’t been right once. Did someone let the Submissions 101 crew in here?
Jesse Rogge (3-5) vs. Jesse Wannemacher (5-2)
Round 1) Rogge ties up immediately and tries for the takedown, but Wannemacher sweeps out of it and they go back to standing. Rogge slips, but Wannemacher lets him stand. Wannamacher lands a nice 1-2 and Rogge jumps guillotine and closed guard, it is deep, but Wannemacher escapes. The round ends with Rogge looking for the closed guard sweep, controlling Wannemacher’s posture.
Round 2) Rogge comes out strong with leg kicks, but Wannemacher is patiently sizing up his punches. Wannemacher keeps landing his two-punch combination. Rogge is getting worn down quickly. Wannemacher wants the knockout, but Rogge just won’t go down. With ten seconds left in the round Wannemacher unloads. Rogge has a granite chin, but his legs look like rubber.
Round 3) Wannemacher is keeping it simple but very effective with his punches. God damn it! I got someone’s blood on me again! I think it is from Rogge, but after spinning away from the cage, I think Wannemacher cuts his brow on the back of Rogge’s head. Rogge is bleeding badly now, it looks like he cut the back of his head on the cage. Wannemacher stands, but Rogge stays on his knees, touching the back of his head. The ref yells to fight, but Rogge waves it off.
Result: Jesse Wannemacher via verbal submission at :58 of the 3rd round
Dale Bennett (0-8) vs. Mark Sainci (0-0)
Round 1) Bennett rushes for an immediate double leg, but Sainci turns it away and takes mount. Sainci turns away, but Bennett stays on him. Bennett tries to buck up as Sainci punches and the ref misses the cage grab. Bennett turns away and Sainci gets his hooks and sinks the RNC. It’s over.
Result: Mark Sainci via submission due to rear naked choke at 1:07 of the 1st round.
Matt Larson (2-3) vs. Shane DeZee (14-21)
Round 1) Larson rushes DeZee and immediately ties up, getting a bear hug takedown to top half guard. Larson postures quickly and starts dropping elbows and hammer fists. DeZee is trying to defend, but can’t seem to get out from under the barrage. DeZee turns toward his stomach. Larson stops punching and the ref waves it off. Dezee appears to be unconscious.
Result: Matt Larson via knockout at 1:09 of the 1st round
Garrett Olson (8-5) vs. Reese Hernandez (7-3-1)
Round 1) I gotta admit, I’m kind of zoning out here. Nothing against the fighters, I'm just sleepy...drunk. I’ll let you know how it ends up…
Result: Reese Hernandez via submission due to rear naked choke at 3:something of the 1st round.
Nate Howe (5-2) vs. Jesse Midas (5-6)
Round 1) Midas throws heavy hands early and Howe wants the takedown. Midas sprawls and Howe sits out and into bottom half-guard. Midas holds a headlock and Howe is able to work back to guard. Midas stands up out of an armbar and the two square up. Midas tries for a falling kimura, but Howe defends and is able to work his way to Midas’s back. He sinks in the choke. Midas resists, but the choke is locked.
Result: Nate Howe via submission due to rear naked choke at 2:13 of the 1st round
Nate Hoffman (5-5) vs. Marcelo Nunes (0-0)
Round 1) Nunes ties up quickly and works from the clinch, eventually dropping for a double and ending up in top half guard. Nunes gets head and arm control and is able to reposition Hoffman and take mount. Hoffman turns over and Nunes gets a body triangle. Hoffman defends well and Nunes shifts to take the armbar from back. Hoffman resists, but can’t hold out. It’s over.
Result: Marcelo Nunes via foregone conclusion… I mean, submission due to armbar at 3:06 of the 1st round
Victor Moreno (42-19) vs. Benjamin Smith (9-2)
Round 1) Smith tries for an early spinning back kick, but Moreno trumps the cool move meter with a belly-to-belly takedown, landing in top half guard. Smith tries to pull a guillotine, but Moreno defends. Smith grabs for an Americana shoulder lock, but it is cross body, he can’t…oh s***, yes he can. Moreno verbally submits and holds his arm in pain.
Result: Benjamin Smith via submission due to almost-impossible Americana at 1:38 of the 1st round. Submission of the night in a night full of submissions.
Dani again. Word. Mother f***ing word.
Jose Pacheco (7-5-1) vs. Dan Moret (5-0)
Round 1) Moret opens with a trademark flurry and Pacheco wants none of it, tying up. Moret gets the leg trip into closed guard. Pacheco ties up head and arm control, but is almost totally inactive save for the occasional sweep attempt, one almost ending with Moret in back control.
Round 2) Moret opens with a hard body kick but misses up top and Pacheco gets a takedown with Moret’s back. Moret slips out and lands a couple standing shots before ending in top half guard. Pacheco turns and gets into closed guard. Moret attempts the armbar and Pacheco passes to side control. Moret reverses to top side and sinks in a north/south choke. Pacheco taps quickly.
Result: Dan Moret via submission due to north/south choke at 3:17 of the 2nd round
A much needed finish for Moret after two straight, uncharacteristic decisions. A great 2nd round, maybe this was submission of the night.
DRILLER PROMOTIONS LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Yes, that means five rounds. Normally I would remind you all that means I will be giving about 1 sentence to each round, but I don’t know that this fight will go outside of the 1st round. Bit ‘o’ bad blood here.
Damion Hill (9-2) vs. Jordan Parsons (8-1)
Round 1) Parsons opens up first, but Hill lands the first solid punches. The two are out for blood early, throwing hard and often. Parsons shoots for a takedown and Hill sprawls, grabbing for a guillotine and trying to pull it from half guard. Parsons postures out and grabs a guillotine of his own. It is deep but Hill won't tap. Parsons refuses to let go. It is deep...and it is over!
Result: Jordan Parsons via submission due to guillotine choke in the 1st round
Lots of subs tonight made me happy. Dani and Stephanie made me happier.