Havoc at High Five 2 Results (06/29/13)



Carl Jung once proposed the idea of collective unconscious.


Sorry, that has nothing to do with anything really, I just have a core audience and need to keep their attention early.

Anyway, the idea is that all of humanity have a psyche that organizes experiences. An interesting concept when you get a bar full of people there to see their friend, sibling, training partner punch the ego out of another man.

There was  Freud reference in there just for the s*** of it. I've only had one beer and I'm just warming up.

Anyway, I was thinking about this concept in terms of how, if we are all going to survive in a society and no devolve to the level of mindless beasts, that there needs to bee some kind of segue from beings of social distinction, education, mores, even just general tact into a sub-species of blood thirty, beer drinking savages.

Or, if you're fun, you don't need to segue at all and just hang out on the lower rung with me. I'll bring the tallboys.


Caleb Merth (0-0) vs. Mike Steger (1-0)

Round 1) Dunno, missed it.

Round 2) Dunno, missed it.

Winner: Caleb Merth via submission due to rear naked choke at 1:53 of the 2nd round


Mark Sainci (4-0) vs. Jason Huntley (2-1)

Round 1) Sorry, I was busy typing the last stuff, but I heard one of the announcer, maybe it was that Pasta Sauce guy, say that the transitions were sloppy. Oh, there's a RNC. Why do the fights go quickly when I'm not there?

Winner: Mark Sainci via submission due to RNC at 2:something of the 1st round

Hey, Ben's in the cage. That's new.

Yes Ben, you did get in trouble for ripping on ring card girls...all of this makes a lot more sense if you listened to the live feed. I'm only on my second tallboy, tequila is next.

Angel Pacheco (3-3) vs. Matt Turek (3-0)

Round 1) Turek gets the immediate double (announcers being racist and asking if it was racist). Pacheco digs for a standing kimura but can't find it. Turek is spending a lot of energy working for the takedown. They break and both fighters look shy with their strikes. Turek jumps for an arm in guillotine for some reason. Time.

Round 2) Turek eats and early right and gets dropped. The ref is in immediately to stop it. Hard to tell on the feed, could have been a flash knockout, it looked like he went stiff as he dropped.

Winner: Angel Pacheco via TKO at :11 of the 2nd round


Jack Shreffler (1-1) vs. Zach Friday (4-0)

Round 1) Friday throws hands early and Shreffler dives in to get out of danger. He is able to slip to Friday's back for a moment and go for a seated takedown, but Friday slips and stands. Shreffler doesn't let do though and drags it right back down, getting both hooks then a body triangle and digging like crazy for an RNC.

Hmmm...the announcer audio is gone. I prefer the voices in my head anyway. They know dirty limericks. Oops, the round ended and there was some kind of illegal upkick from Shreffler.

Round 2) Friday swinging and Shreffler shooting. Friday digs for a standing guillotine and Shreffler falls to avoid, attempting to turn to a heel hook, Friday answers with backhands and Shreffler tries for a toehold that doesn't work. Friday just walks away and Shreffler dives for an ankle pick. Friday sprawls and goes for a guillotine. Friday misses at first, but sticks with it. It's over.

Winner: Zach Friday via submission due to guillotine at 2:something of the 2nd round

Oops, lost sound all together. This may expose how little I actually know about MMA or who is fighting. Wait, did I type that or just think it? Who said that?


There's a little bit of a break here, so do you all mind if I bare my soul a little? I'm at that tipping point where I think sharing secrets is a good idea and since there is no one around to hug...Bruce Johnson is growing on me.

While my thoughts are generally known on the journeyman fighter that has three times as man losses as wins, some times you just gotta root for the guy despite all common sense to the contrary.

It's not that I have more respect for him, because I don't, it doesn't take "more of a man" to step in a cage. I think that history has taught us the opposite on many occasions. Instead I just kind of like the idea that he poses a different kind of threat when he is in the cage. I mean, he's supposed to lose. But what if...what if...?

Bruce Johnson (15-45) vs. Clarence Jordan (1-0)

Round 1) Despite having 59 fewer fights than his opponent, Jordan comes out the aggressor working his jab. Annnnd, my feed went down. F***.

Okay, no idea how long that was, but they are still on their feed and trading jabs. Johnson tries a superman punch just for s***s and giggles and Jordan ties up against the cage. Johnson is looking a little slow and falling back every time he gets stuck with a jab, but Jordan isn't chasing. I wish these were three minute rounds.


Round 2) Jesus, the announcers' voices just started again and scared the s*** out of me. Jordan is still forcing the action with...I don't know, like, punches and kicks and stuff. Jordan gets the take down and immediately takes the back and sinks the RNC. Johnson holds it off for a moment, but it looks like much like in high school, college, post-grad, my wedding night and most of the 2000's, my dreams have been shattered.

Winner: Clarence Jordan via submission due to RNC at 2:34 of the 2nd round


Ben Miller (7-12) vs. Andre Tieva (4-0)

Round 1) Tieva comes out strong with a combo and a head kick. Whoa, that was faster than I expected. A left hook lands on the button and Miller goes down faster than [insert funnier joke than I came up with here].

Winner: Andre Tieva via TKO at :54 of the 1st round.

Diva needs to get put against some better competition. The last two haven't posed enough challenge and he's too talented to have these crucial early fights go against soup cans. Regardless, impressive win. Maybe it's the hair.


Frankie Johnson (8-7) vs Jimmy Zidek (9-?)

Round 1) Johnson comes out working hands, Zidek working kicks. Zidek looks a little overwhelmed on their feet and out of nowhere Johnson hits a wrestling suplex and takes the fight to the ground. Zidek rolls it over into Johnson's guard. Johnson starts working rubber guard and Zidek is making no attempt to posture or do anything. The ref stands them appropriately. Zidek starts to come alive and it looks like clips Johnson with a hook. Johnson buckles and Zidek swarms. The ref waves it off! Huge come from behind win!

Winner: Jimmy Zidek via TKO at ?:?? of the 1st round. Couldn't hear over the chattering monkeys.

Fifteen minute break. It's a beautiful night I think it's time to shotgun a tallboy.


So cold, so good.

Driller Flyweight Amateur Title

For those of you not familiar with my stance on Ammy title fights: I hate five round fights. Thus each round will get only one sentence descriptions. And I can't even guarantee the quality of that sentence.

Huh, finding a bit more about Ben's resume. Ya just never know what you'll hear on the live feeds. Or so I hear.

Mitch White (5-0) vs. Jake Schommer (4-0)

Round 1) Schommer put to sleep with an arm-in guillotine.

Winner: Mitch White via unconsciousness due to guillotine at :36 of the 1st round

Full disclosure: in the three title fights since I refused to do full five-round write ups, all three have ended in the first round. There is no f***ing way I am stopping this policy any time soon.

Bold statement by the announcers that Parsons is "the better fighter in every way" then proceed to at least give a nod to Getzel's grappling.

Derek Getzel (7-4) vs. Jordan Parsons (7-1)

Round 1) Lost signal!? You son of a--it's back. Getzel is working the head movement and Parsons is chasing working the majority of the offense from jabs to head kicks, one of which buckles Getzel but he immediately recovers and shoots for a takedown. He eats another head kick and wobbles again. Parsons forces Getzel to the ground and looks to be having trouble clearing the cobwebs. Parsons misses a head kick and Getzel rushes for the takedown, but Parsons reverses the position and stays on his feet.

Parsons gets a trip to cross sides but stands immediately. The round ends with Parsons in control.

Round 2) The round starts a bit more evenly as both fighters give light exchanges. Derek keeps switching stances between orthodox and southpaw, maybe looking to find a way to get the advantage on the feet as Parsons has slowed his pace in the 2nd. Parsons shoots and gets the takedown maybe in the effort to steal the round.

Round 3) Getzel looks wobbled again with another headkick, but responds with an overhand right. Parsons puts together a solid punch combo but Getzel continues to push forward. Parsons looks like he got rung up with a good right from Getzel, but shakes it off. Parsons ties up against the cage and just misses a knee as they break. Getzel swings a few punches but can't find a target.

Getzel misses a spinning jump kick and Parsons hits a takedown into top side control and moves to the back. Getzel rolls for a knee bar but the round is over. This is going to be a tough loss for one of these two fighters. I'm guessing a 29-28 unanimous.

Winner: Jordan Parsons via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 30-27)

Bed is fifteen feet away. Can I make it that far...