My Promise to MMA Fighters and Fans Alike...

There seems to be a little confusion about what you people expect from me.

The idea of a writer/report used to be this:

Jesus, you don't know who that is, do you? It's Walter Cronkite, but I'll save you the wikipedia definition and just move on...

From that we have taken a strange turn to the MMA reporter, which many people think of as this:

Oh, but you all know Ariel Helwani? Nice.

Note the suit and tie, very professional. Very well known.

The problem is that the average MMA reporter/writer/blogger/forum troll is actually this:

Or this:

Now, I like to think of myself as this:

When in reality I'm closer to this:

Here's the thing: shut the f*** up. I don't care about you. Really. I don't. I've pretty much accepted my place on the lower end of the socio-economic spectrum.

Any money I do make goes back to paying student loans that did me no good.

And on top of it, I'm sick and tired of how MMA gets covered.

You get two kinds: kiss asses and douchebags.

I admit, I am closer to the douchebag side and I spent time on the kiss a** side, but now I just write.

I don't do interviews because fighters don't want to answer the questions I have.

I don't blow smoke because fighters have way too many people doing that for them already.

If I rag on you it is because you are seriously lacking skills (usually boxing). It's not because of my shortcomings or feelings of inadequacy.

No, for those I drink.

There are too many fighters around that don't do it right. They don't want to spend the time or the money to get the kind of training it actually takes to be a fighter. They want the money and glory without the work. This game is f***ing hard.

You can slam boxing and the big paydays all you want, but do you think that Mayweather and Pacquiao just wandered into a 2nd rate gym and trained for a couple months before turning pro?

Get your head out of your a**.

So they get the guy that charges $50 a month to be his grappling/striking coach, his manager and his best friend. The guy has no resume and no business being in the fight game, but he is cheap, available and more than willing to take the roll of Yoda for impressionable and often stupid kids. It's not his permanent injuries on the line.

And then they get in the cage. Maybe as an ammy, sometimes as a pro *sigh* and they look like just about the most pathetic piece of s*** I have ever seen.

I'm supposed to just do a play-by-play for that f***ing s***? No, go to hell. Obviously you don't have anyone in your life telling you what is wrong with what you are doing and I'm be damned if I pretend that a fighter is better than they are in the chance that they actually make something of themselves and can offer me an interview in the future.

You think that I talk s*** about your hands for the heck of it? No, they suck, accept it. Get better. Come back and win. Prove me wrong, as if that is why I am doing this in the first place.

Stop coddling fighters as if it will help them. I've seen the look of a fighter that thought he was ready and I've seen that look melt away when he realizes he is about to get his ass kicked.

Is that what you want for your son, friend, student?

And for those of you that think that I do this because I am just making up for my own failed dreams of glory...OBVIOUSLY!!!

Oh, and for the record, I could totally last 10 seconds in the cage...against a girl...as long as that girl isn't Cyborg, Gina Carano, Rhonda, Kelly Kobald, Kaitlyn Young...or any girl that takes boxing, muay thai, karate, TKD, Tao Bo, cardio-kick or that has just had a really bad day "because of that b**** at work"...

But besides all them, yeah, I could totally make it 10 seconds.