This is why people mock Midwest MMA fighters...

Word is that the guy on the ground basically had about a week's worth of BJJ training before he decided to go find a fight.

Don't give the other guy too much credit. The record I found for him was 0-2 as a pro and 0-2 as an amateur. This fight must have been one of the Iowa fights that people are so fond of us for.

Hmm... I just lost my 2nd straight amateur fight... what should I do next...?

I got it! I'll take a pro fight! At least then I will get paid for getting beat! Unless it is on Native American land (i.e. a casino).

What the **** guys?

Okay, I know this set-up will take a second but deal with it. Yes, that is the entire Gone in 60 Seconds movie on Youtube, but only about 5 seconds of it is worth watching (go to 0:27:12 and apply it to your training).

 Here, let me help:

You can't punch.

You can't sprawl.

You can't defend.

You can't fight.

Hell, I can't please a woman, so you know what I do... wait, that's not it...

I mean, hell, I can't fight in MMA, so you know what I do, I keep my dumb ass out the cage!!!

Seriously... you never thought of that before stepping into the cage?